Republicans aren’t hypocrites. We all are.

Posted on November 16, 2011


“If this is gonna be a Christian nation that doesn’t help the poor, either we’ve got to pretend that Jesus was just as selfish as we are, or we’ve got to acknowledge that he commanded us to love the poor and serve the needy, without condition, and then admit that we just don’t wanna do it.”

-Stephen Colbert on “The Colbert Report”

I love this quote out of context, but in context, I have problems with it.  In this soundbite Colbert was responding to the Republicans’ opposition to the extending of unemployment benefits (specifically during the Christmas season).

Republicans are often labeled as hypocrites because when they’re not calling for spending cuts for programs to help the poor and needy, they are going on and on about Jesus “Help the Poor and Needy” Christ and our “Christian nation.”

I would like to now argue that this, specifically, does NOT make Republicans hypocrites.

While Jesus DID call on us to love the poor and serve the needy, he never qualified that by saying, “And the best way to do this would be to sit on your collective asses and have the Roman Empire forcibly take a sizable percentage of your income; then have megalomaniacal emperors and senators decide how this money could be best redistributed.”

I can’t think of a worse organization to take care of people than our corrupt, corporately-controlled federal government.  It doesn’t care about you or anyone else.  And why would it?  It doesn’t know you.  It’s just an “it.”

Also, think of the really ambitious kids in high school or college who were super into student government.  You either were one of those kids (unlikely), or you hated them (99% likely).  These are the people who grew up to get elected to Congress because sane people wouldn’t ever want to do that job.  Crazy = Larry Craig, Michelle Bachmann, William Jefferson, Charlie Rangel, John Edwards, etc. etc. etc.  Even at the state level, you get people like Rod Blagojevich and Sarah Palin.  THESE are the people who we’re entrusting to redistribute tax money in the smartest, most efficient way possible?  You want to send THESE people the money you work hard for?

To me, the fact that many Republicans don’t necessarily consider it helping someone to have a retarded, faceless bureaucratic machine hand that person money every month, isn’t that unbelievable of a fact.

According to the documentary “Waiting for Superman” (which was made by the same super liberal that directed “An Inconvenient Truth”) “since 1971, educational spending in the U.S. has more than doubled from $4,300 per student to more than $9000 per student, adjusted for inflation. In that same time period, reading and math scores have remained flat.”

So to me, this says the solution to our failing schools might not be to have the government keep spending more and more money on schools.  Maybe the problem lies elsewhere.  If someone on the right votes against a spending increase for public education, this alone doesn’t make him or her a dick.  To me, it makes this person a sane and pragmatic person.

There seems to be two options presented by our political parties:

1) Republicans: People should take care of themselves.

2) Democrats: The government should take care of the people.

Now: Apply this to most any issue:


1) Those people should get jobs.

2) The government should do more to help homeless people.

Failing schools:

1) Parents should take responsibility for their children’s education.

2) The government should take more responsibility for our children’s education.

These are both completely SELFISH options because they let us all off the hook.  And Jesus wasn’t a proponent of either.  And so yes, the Republican solution of “do nothing” does in fact, make them hypocrites.  But Republican’s are not hypocrites for  disagreeing with the Democrat’s solution of taking rich people’s money and throwing it at problems.  So that should never be an argument.

How about this THIRD OPTION that no one (besides Jesus) ever thinks of, apparently:

WE F-ING TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER.  (Jesus probably didn’t say f-ing).

How about instead of going to the mall or the bar every day and night, we f-ing pitch in?  Volunteer at a homeless shelter.  Tutor a kid.  How about instead of spending a bunch of time and money turning your basement into a fancy billiards room / monument to your own success (that no one will ever use), you f-ing do something useful for someone and society?

Doing nothing will not help.  And just sitting back and expecting these sociopathic congresspeople to fix the problem will not help either.  People need YOU.  Do something.

Posted in: God, Politics